Asking difficult questions

 Most Lent and Advent seasons there seems to be one blog post which hits the spot for everyone, and yesterday's was it.  Thank you to all of you who contributed to the discussion and told their stories in the comments. Amazingly the post also got shared among the staff in the ICU where my friends son died on Monday.  How cool is that? !  One of the scriptures that kept coming over and over again all week was Rev 12;11  

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.

One of the brilliant things about social media is that our testimonies are now out there forever, able to be read by any who happen to come across them anywhere in the world at any time.  There is power in rehearsing the goodness of God and speaking out what He has done and we might never know the effects those ripples have until we get to heaven.

As a follow on from yesterday I feel I just want to share something with you that really helped me as I sought to understand why God lets tragic things happen and doesn't intervene with miracles when we are crying out for them.  I can't remember if I've told this in the blogs before - I probably have because it is one of the defining moments in my life.  Apologies if I repeat myself.  Some things are worth repeating.

Many years ago when I was a social worker in Scotland a news item hit the headlines about a 9 year old boy from a very poor area of Glasgow who had been out playing on the streets late one night and had been abducted by two men in a car, raped and brutally murdered. His body was dumped on waste ground.  It was a truly horrible story, but no more tragic than many things that happen in the world every day.  For some reason I got really really angry with God about this incident.  I shouted and swore at Him and told Him that it just wasnt good enough.  If He was God and if He was good then why on earth didn't He step in to just make that little boy go home ten minutes earlier?  Or make the car stop at a traffic light for two minutes longer?   I knew God had watched that child be tortured and killed and had let it happen.  I had been a Christian for years but all of a sudden in those moments I found myself disliking God intensely. I told Him that unless He could give me an explanation as to why He had let it happen I wasn't interested in following Him any more.   I wasn't being petulant.  I had come to a crisis point where my entire understanding of the nature of God was teetering on a precipice.

God was quiet.  I did not get my answer immediately.  I raged at Him for days.  I was not kind and polite and nice in my words to Him.  I wanted an answer.  I told Him that I was not going to be fobbed off with ' original sin' and ' bad things happen to good people'.

I remember as clearly as if it were ten minutes ago when I got my answer.  I was in my car sitting at traffic lights ( for some reason traffic lights have always been a good place for me to hear from God!) I didnt hear an audible voice but the thought was so loud and so clear in my head it might as well have been.  ' Caz, I take full responsibility'

That was it.

But within those five words was encompassed a whole realm of understanding.  I felt like a massive weight had been lifted and everything was OK again.   I suddenly saw that because Jesus had chosen to take the sins of those men on Himself on the cross and the pain of that child as he died, Jesus was uniquely positioned to allow it to happen.  He allowed it to happen to HIM before He allowed it to happen to the child.  Secondly I understood that God knows everything about everything and everyone.  He knew that child's past, present and future.  He knew the poverty in which he lived and the neglect that allowed a 9 yr old to be out on the cold streets of Glasgow late at night.  He knew all the possible futures that child might have - the failures, the poverty, the drugs, the violence, the alcohol, the relationships.  We see death as some sort of great injustice.  Sometimes God allows death because it is a rescue and a mercy. He knows everyone's eternal destination.  He knew the perpetrators and what they would go on to do to others ( they were caught and sentenced to life very shortly afterwards)   He knew the family of the boy and the effect that his death would have on them.  He knew the families of the perpetrators and what they were like and what they needed and all of their possible futures too.   It goes on and on.  God sees it all.  And when He told me that He takes full responsibility He means that in the light of everything He knows, He can perfectly justify the decisions He made and account for them to me and to anyone who cares to ask Him.  I didnt feel the need to ask Him.  I just knew that I could trust Him and it actually has changed my relationship with Him forever. 

Can I encourage you not to be afraid of asking the difficult questions.  God doesnt mind when we get upset or cross with Him.  He isn't insecure, doesn't make mistakes and is never at a loss for words. When big things happen He knows we need to understand.  My answers might not work for you - but He has answers which will perfectly scratch where you itch 😀  Don't stop asking until you get that ' Ah' moment.

One day when we stand before Him we will ask Him why about everything.  And He will tell us why.  And when He does we will clearly see that His reasons were perfect, good and just.