Fast

 Iv'e thought long and hard about whether to write about this today, because the Bible makes it clear that there are some things better not shared - like how much you are giving financially and..... when you are fasting.  But on balance I've decided that you lovely friends will understand the motive for me sharing this and will receive it in the right way.   Time to come clean with you dear reader and tell you that since the start of this blog I have been on a food fast. Until yesterday.  Day 17.

Now I know for some of you that statement will cause profound anxiety and raise lots of questions so in an attempt to answer some of them here goes.

Firstly, I have always believed that fasting is something that we as Christians should be open to doing as a normal part of our walk with Jesus.  As with all things under the new covenant I think it should be a Spirit led activity and not a religious ritual. So I dont tend to fast unless I particularly feel led to.  And I dont feel led to do it that often.

Secondly, for me, going without food isnt massively difficult.  Most days I dont bother with breakfast at all and quite often my first meal of the day can be at 2 or 3pm.  It's probably not good for me - breakfast being the meal of kings and all that.  But that's just how I roll.  So when I feel that I should be fasting I usually aim to go for two or three days because its only at that point that it becomes a real effort for me to do it.

Why fast?  I can only speak from personal experience but it seems quite simple to me.  You fast to be hungry. And when you are hungry you are reminded that you are fasting and that you are saying to God that He is more important to you than food. You are reminded about the people and situations you are praying for and every hunger pang leads you to think and pray for them.  So you do more praying when fasting than you would normally do.   The ancients, who fasted for weeks on end would get themselves into mystical states of transendance as their bodies did weird things due to lack of sustenance.  Not so sure about that 😊  For me its about re-adjusting the focus.  It is also really good for your health to fast every now and again.

The longest Id ever fasted before was two weeks.  At that time I was praying for a friend who was in the depths of depression and I feared was suicidal.  There wasnt much I could do except pray. I felt I needed to pray more often throughout the day and really focus, so I decided to fast and God helped me to do it.  The ' God helped' thing is crucial.  Without God enabling us we can't fast for any length of time.  We just arent designed to go without food or resist temptation for long.   This Lent I hadnt really planned to do a long fast, but then a combination of factors led me to go for it.  

Keith has been working for the council for the past two years and his contract is up at the end of March.  So for the past 6 months he has had his eyes open for another job.  He has applied for a few things, but before Christmas a job came up with the Trussel Trust ( foodbanks) as Northern Ireland regional director and he applied and was interviewed.  His interview went really well but due to various issues with the interview process they had to re-advertise the job and re-interview which took ages to happen.  There was a long silence during which time I had a very clear picture of Jesus telling the disciples to put the net back into the water and them hauling in the miraculous catch of fish.  I felt it was to do with this job and that He was telling me to keep praying ' all hands on deck' to bring the job into the boat even though it didn't seem like it was going to happen.  I shared this with Keith and the boys and we prayed as a family.  Two days later Trussel got back in touch with Keith to say the process was still ongoing and that he was definitely through to round two of the interview process and they'd be back in touch.   

Weeks have passed and still no news.  But Im convinced this is the perfect job for Keith and he is the perfect person for the job.  So partly the fasting was about the job.   Then there was Kenny, who you all know about.  And then, to be honest, there was just my own curiosity about how long I could keep going for and what it would be like to go longer than two weeks.😊   

Brief summary of the fast.  Day 1-3 just had to keep reminding myself wasnt supposed to be eating - eating is such a habit and a reflex thing.  Day 4- 7 a few headaches and lots of disrupted sleep.  Day 8-17 into a rhythm, much easier not to eat, feeling pretty tired and finding things like climbing the stairs noticeably tiring.  Then on day 17 ( yesterday) Id been lying down watching a film, got up to go to the loo, felt lightheaded and reached for the doorhandle to steady myself, missed it and fell backwards bashing my back off the radiator and ending in a heap on the floor!  My back was so sore I thought Id broken a rib.  Ben came rushing in and I decided to have a bowl of soup  🍲  By bedtime last night I was a stiff as a board and my back was black and blue. And I felt a bit foolish.  Cos a few blogs back I had been merrily telling Jane and JK that going without food was a breeze and here I was proving that perhaps it isnt.  LOL Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God or He will do it for you !

Fasting rebalances our relationship with food.  Over the past two weeks I have realised again that I dont need half as much food as I usually consume and that much of my eating is habit and addiction to sweet stuff.  I only fasted food so I was still drinking coffee and juice and milk which meant that I did have some calorie input - to be honest the thought of giving up coffee is more terrifying to me than the thought of giving up food 😁  maybe next time I'll try a 24 hour coffee fast.! 

I had hoped to keep going until Keith heard about the second round of interviews for this job. Which has surely got to happen soon.  If you feel like helping haul in that particular net all prayers would be most welcome.  I'll let you know what happens. Xx