Grumping

Ive been helping a seven year old with his homework throughout most of this past Covid year.  Lewis is a delight and we have become good friends.   He is sunny and sweet and funny and kind.  But yesterday for the first time I saw him have a proper grump.

He likes to watch something called Art Hub on Youtube ( highly recommend) where a very cool american guy and a kid of about Lewis's age do drawing demonstrations which you can follow along at home.  He shows you how to draw everything from cartoon characters to animals, flowers, dragons, aliens, you name it and there's a ten minute programme to show you how to draw it.  The guy also does origami.  And origami is what caused the grumping. 😁

Lewis started off following the paper folding instructions OK.  He had to pause the video a couple of times to catch up, but then he hit a road block and couldn't get the paper to do what it was supposed to do.  It looked very simple on the screen but....  I was pretty useless at helping and couldnt even get the video to wind back to the right place for a while!  Cue one unhappy 7 year old who all of a sudden threw down the paper, crossed his arms in a huff and looked as though he was about to burst into tears.   I'd never seen this before from Lewis.  I gave him a hug and told him that origami was really hard, he could have another go at home, and reminded him that half an hour earlier he had drawn a magnificent picture of an eagle.   He cheered up a bit and trotted off home  I was left wondering what it is in us that reacts so badly to not being able to do stuff.

I remember my first social work placement.  I was asked to write a report on something and I didn't have a clue what I was supposed to do.  I felt stupid asking. I hated not being able to just do it. I got really upset and eventually my supervisor noticed and took me in hand, explained what needed to be done and helped me.   I remember my kids all having huge strops at various times when they couldn't do something easily .  We have all felt it.  That surge of angry frustration with ourselves, the sense of upset that we are somehow lacking because we can't do something other people can. When you are 7 you get over it in half an hour.  If you are older sometimes you don't.

How many times in our walk with Jesus have we come up against something hard and got cross, sulky, upset in response?  Recently one of my sons lost a friend to suicide.  I didn't realise for a while, but he got cross with God.  Quite understandable. Its a very hard thing to rationalise.  I encouraged him to take his crossness and his questions to the Lord and wrestle with Him until he gets an answer which satisfies him.  It might take a while.  God seems to quite like the wrestle.  This past year quite a few of us will have had some hard things happen. Things which seem really unfair.  Things which have hurt us or people we love.  Stuff we can't just get back once the pandemic is over.   Has God forgotten?  Is He being mean or careless?  Is it OK if we feel frustrated, disappointed, sad?  What can we do if our faith has been tested and our confidence in God knocked?

I think the only thing we can do is tell Him.  He knows already of course, but in the telling how we feel we maybe get to see it for what it is, with more clarity.  And then we need to wait and see what He has to say about how we feel.  We need to wait for His answer.  Only His answer will satisfy us.  People round us may give us their words, but only the words of Jesus are Truth and Life to us.  When Jesus says 'Keep asking, keep seeking , keep knocking' He isnt just talking about ' stuff' ' .  God always has a reason.  His reasons always make perfect sense.  He is always good.   Don't settle for being fobbed off by the trite answers of well meaning by standers. Wrestle for the Truth until you have got it.  And the Truth will set you free.